Exhaustion and dis-satisfaction seems to outline this blog lately. I am working on making myself more comfortable in my own skin, and the confusion and overwork seems to be bleeding out on into everything I do lately.
I am truly enjoying my classes for once lately, taking a few things I want to take instead of working on my degree. I have started biking after class and am up to doing four miles, want to get to ten eventually. This is my substitute for walking since I have almost been hit by cars now several times walking in the evenings in my neighborhood.
I am looking into increasing how much I write and have started a journal, along with the discussions we have going on in class right now. I have always been one to try and think before I speak. When I was little I heard a story or quote that said that each person only has so many words they are allotted to say. This fascinated me. If you are only given so many words, each one must be used to make an impact and be important. I would sit in the background weighing the words around me. This has been on my mind lately. Do my words have enough weight?
On a reading kick at the moment. Orphans of Chaos by Wright was a fluffy sci-fi read but still good. Friday by Heinlein is one of my favorite books, also rereading Children of the Night by Huff. Reading Lolita in Tehran is also a very good book I am in the middle of reading. Deep Survival is a thought provoking read, yet very slow going, about the impulse to survive, and what drive a human to live, while others die. Also reading children’s books, First Test and Terrier by Pierce, both are good but terrier was amazing, I loved it. Also reread On a Pale Horse by Anthony, love the satire and thought processes, death must die for the new death to take his place, so death is mortal, yet immortal, able to judge others as they die, and yet tries to talk people out of dieing, great.