Hard to explain

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I have been thinking about how to post this for days now.

After two days of migraine and one mild panic attack I decided to just write it out.

I talked to my parents about going hiking alone for a weekend.

My father’s response was that I should take a hand gun course and get licensed to carry a gun.

I don’t want a gun. I would not mind taking the course or getting the license since I never turn down a chance to learn a new skill but I don’t want to own a gun.

Counter intuitive, I know.

The fact is that I don’t want a gun in my home. I don’t mind owning knives, after all knives are useful.

Guns have one purpose, to kill.

I am fairly certain that if I had had a gun in my house at several points in my life I would not still be alive today. I have considered killing myself enough times to know I would be tempted to use any gun that I had. The only thing that generally stops me is the fact that I would be leaving another mess for someone to have to clean up and I don’t want to put my parents through that.